the interval of time and space

The Japanese word/concept of 'ma' has been the theme here for a while now. As I understand the translation, ma is the empty space in the composition - the room to breathe. I have also heard it described as the calm and serene pause before something is about to happen... emptiness, but temporary and necessary.
In the time and space of now, my house is 95% packed up, my art supplies are cleaned out and ready to purchase new paints for a class, I am waiting another hour and a half to register for the classes, the heavy items are broken down to their smallest components where possible, and the moving truck will be ready to pick up tomorrow. This period before chaos used to make me nervous and excited. Now, though, I'm relaxed. I'm embracing the emptiness... the lack of things on the to-do list. It means that I can't drive myself crazy trying to do too much. The uncertainty of medium I'll be teaching next year is also cool, because I get to think in possibilities again, not limit my imagination with sequences and lessons tailored to a budget or tech issues. As yet, the limits do not exist.
Ahhh! So, I get to be like the horse in the picture: just chilling out and enjoying the day. Cheers!

walking the bridge

The pics are in from the tour of town. There's a home-made suspension bridge that crosses the Verde River right across the street from the school. Now, most of the time, this 'river' is more of a slow moving creek. When it's January and February or during the monsoon season - this lazy little creek is a class 5 rapids. One of my colleagues lives across from the river. When it floods, the waters rise about 12-16 feet above the level of the road. So instead of driving (swimming) and getting killed, the residents cross the bridge that's about a 1/4 mile long.

Yup, that there's chicken wire, 2x4's, plywood, and a steel cable the thickness of my index finger.

photographing

On a trip around part of the town, I got some shots of thing that struck me as strange when I first noticed them. Now that I see them as a way of life for those who live here, I'm glad I got the shots of the things before leaving. I'll be taking my camera along with me for trips in and around town. I have about 3 or 4 more rolls of film to burn up. I'll post images once they're developed.

back to the blog board

I stopped posting for a long time. There was no need to publish negativity, so I didn't. I resigned from the school in Arizona, and I'm happily moving back to California. I don't consider this attempt a failure at all, since I did not fail my students, my self, my family. I sure do appreciate the perspective I gained through the experience of teaching where I did. I earned a grateful appreciation of 'home'; the tough process of credentialing that California universities put you through, the professionalism of my Master Teacher, Roberta; high standards for teachers and for students (ALL students); and the support of all the people who worked together in schools that held more than 4,000 young people with more than 4,000 different aspirations and more than 4,000 different challenges each day.

Next step: I've applied to some really great districts in California, and even a few museums. I'm searching for opportunities to give back to the community, wondering just where I would fit in to do that yet.

Now that its summer break, and there's still ten days yet until the move back home, it's time to draw. It's time to get past that fear that is always there when I think of drawing, and just draw! I'm also going to photograph a few rolls of film. There is something about the abrasive and raw nature of this area that still displays beauty. It's a sad beauty, poignant maybe. But there's interest and beauty still.

motivating the unmotivated

By the time the end of the day comes, I get my class with the least amount of students. This may seem like a breath of fresh air, ending on a calm, mellow note - and I wish every single day that it could be. I wish I could get this group to work together, and put a full effort into their projects, instead of gossip and tearing others down.

I have a small clique of vapid, lazy, BORING young people. I don't know if they are like this in other classes, or with each other in the context of their greater public. I know that in my class, they bore the hell out of me. They seem to be so bright and insightful, but refuse to put more than the bare minimum to pass the class into their projects.

Sometimes I have to motivate myself to find something enjoyable about each person. I don't know - sometimes I get stuck with such small groups. I think I much prefer the energy and community of large classes.

untitled

So much has happened in the classroom, in the lunchroom, and at mentor meetings. Most importantly, I lost a very close family member quite suddenly. It was probably from one of the accessories we get from having diabetes - but we don't have the autopsy report back yet. (sigh) The passing was 2 weeks ago, and the funeral was in California last weekend. I haven't quite gotten past it all yet. Partly, I think it is because I have to travel out-of-state again to help clean out the apartment my uncle lived at this weekend. There are other things unsettled that my uncle left up to me to see to. I'm glad he charged me with the task, but until I can do a good job of it, I'll feel unsettled.
This weekend I have to help my family sort through the remnants of a kind and decent man's life.
None of us can remember an unkind statement ever leaving his lips. He deplored gossip - more so than I do. He even found a way to pleasantly correct his own mother when she indulged in an unkindness in conversation. We all remember his laugh. He gave it freely, and robustly. The more I think about it - my uncle was a lot like how many children think of Santa Claus. Jolly, happy, generous, kind, friendly, and sometimes silly. He loved to play, go places, do things, be active. It was such a shock that he died at 49, one month and one day away from turning 50.
The family has changed in his absence. We have all had a cold splash of clarity.