While I've put the brakes on publishing reflections on student-teaching, I am still writing them. The brakes had to be slammed down.
I went back and read some of my previous posts - and the Y2K kids came up in conversation with some educators recently. I think this in combination with the 'pedagogy of the impoverished' theory are coming in to play in some situations I have seen. According to whomever explained it to me - academic, yes? - pedagogy of the impoverished is a book that discusses how students in 'impoverished' areas train the teachers, and essentially rob themselves of an education - whether they know it or not.
First of all, I hate the tags impoverished, under-priveleged, etc when discussing education. It implies that people who struggle more economically than others are ill-equipped to think. That is absolutely not true.
Second of all, these students know exactly what's going on. They know when they're being treated differently, though (as with every teenager) they may not have the best success in communicating it.
What I have noticed is that there are students who will do whatever they can to wear down a teacher. (This is my personal observation from my overall experience, not only from my recent assignments). More distractions in class = less time to work/read/discuss ideas = less homework overall (because a teacher will stop assigning it if only 10% turn in their work) = less learning. The teacher decreases expectations, the students follow suit - whether they are aware of it or not.
I have also noticed that in some schools, there is a stigma attached to academic acheivement. It's not that students don't want each other to succeed, it's that the ones who don't shine feel that they are placed in comparison to the students that do. Because you did a good job, and got good attention, I look stupid, and I get bad attention. It's the old "why can't you be more like your sister?" attitude that students feel they get from their teachers. Maybe they do. It's only a matter of time before the sister gets beat up, and learns to keep her mouth shut. Compound the issue with a higher competition for resources (including attention from teachers), a higher population, more challenges to overcome in just getting to school, and soon everyone is trained to expect less. High acheivers have to try extra-hard to end up still under-prepared. It saps a lot of energy - from teachers, staff, and from students.
Now, I'm an outside observer, and still new to the field. I don't claim to have any answer or magic-wand solution. There are some ideas that other countries and areas use that I support. HS Teachers in Japan only teach 4 classes per day. Translated to my immediate environment, teaching only 4 classes could still mean teaching 180 students. I support small-learning communities, and students taking responsibility for their own learning - and for keeping their school well maintained. Why can't the shop-classes do the school building and equipment repairs (in cooperation with facilities management)? That would be a great oppotunity for project and inquiry based learning. I think there should be one tech-support person for every 200 students at each school. Teachers should be well equipped, well-trained, and well-supported to use technology in the classroom.
I also think that local businesses should get bigger tax breaks and incentives for donating time, equipment, and materials to schools. If the school is where we draw our labor force from, businesses should be more involved in the preparation of the future labor force.
However, I'm still new, naive, and idealsitic, and there are no insant solutions. I still believe that if you are clear in your expectations, you are prepared to support student efforts in acheiving them, and the learning content relates to the world, students will rise to the challenge.
As with neighborhoods, schools that have a bad reputation can change the reputation. I have seen it. Whining about it will not bring about the change. It takes work, and optimism, and supporting each other instead of holding each other back.
Monday, February 26, 2007
documentation
Monday, Feb 26, 2007; 11:26 a.m.
All morning I have been scanning, and making copies, and printing extra copies of all the work I have done. The process has given me confidence, because I am seeing that I did my job. I knew I did. I have proof. I have photos. Staff and faculty saw me doing my job - even when there was a flippant (and errant) remark made to a student suggesting otherwise. Not to mention, I was video and audio taped nearly every second while doing my job.
I'm not saying that I was perfect. I did make mistakes. They were typical new student-teacher mistakes. I corrected the mistakes, and I learned along the way.
I allowed my master teachers' inappropriate comments to intimidate me, which prevented me from enforcing professional and personal boundaries. It also prevented me from fully disclosing how much it bothered me that I felt continually and increasingly undermined, and under-supported in regards to the behavior management issues. I did discuss it, though.
If my husband and his workplace were not a part of this equation, I would have felt fully confident and justified approaching my master teacher, defining my boundaries with respect and professionalism, and asking for courtesy and respect. This school is where he works, and he LOVES his job. He is paying all the bills while I finish earning my credential, so that I can join him in earning a living and supporting our family. He is a relatively new teacher. My master teacher is not. I was afraid that if I approached the Master Teacher, gossip would increase, and become more malicious, further placing both my husband and I in a very awkward situation. I felt like I had to be present for every Nutrition and Lunch period in order to avoid giving any further opportunity for gossip and inappropriate suggestions.
My husband and I both discussed working at the same site when it was proposed to me upon passing the portfolio review (December 1st, 2006). My friend Lindsay was with us having a celebratory lunch at the Nugget on the campus. We agreed that we could carpool in together if there were no conflicting schedules. We agreed to a professional demeanor; no affection on or near campus, spoken nor physical. We didn't even say "I love you" - we stuck with our code word. I replied on the phone only once "I love you too" to a call made during lunch. Now, with one flippant remark, my conduct (and my husbands' conduct) is being called into question.
There are about four or five other teacher couples at the site. They are married, and work at the same school. They get gossip, too - but they can stop it in its' tracks. They are not guests at the school. They have their credentials in hand. They don't have a master teacher listening in the hall as you try to address your challenges with your support system and colleagues. I felt like that support system was taken away from me.
I'm not judging my master teachers' methods. If something works for her, then it works. I tried to the best of my ability (while very emotional) to explain to my supervisors the system that had been put into place was working against me. I tried to explain where my difficulties are, and ask for help in order to address those concerns with my master teacher. A particular situation was increasingly getting out of control. I needed help. I felt I would not be supported by my master teacher. I took a step back and asked for help from the university.
My master teacher (now former master teacher) blames me for misinterpreting what she said and did. Maybe it was a joke - but how would I know that? Even if the comments were made in jest, it was at my expense. It called into question my integrity. It created mistrust. It was inappropriate. I did nothing to deserve that. It was unfair to create that kind of a challenge to address and that kind of environment to work in.
For now, I am continuing my paperwork. I have a great start on my portfolio, and I am proud of the successes I had, and with my students' successes. My husband is proud of me.
All morning I have been scanning, and making copies, and printing extra copies of all the work I have done. The process has given me confidence, because I am seeing that I did my job. I knew I did. I have proof. I have photos. Staff and faculty saw me doing my job - even when there was a flippant (and errant) remark made to a student suggesting otherwise. Not to mention, I was video and audio taped nearly every second while doing my job.
I'm not saying that I was perfect. I did make mistakes. They were typical new student-teacher mistakes. I corrected the mistakes, and I learned along the way.
I allowed my master teachers' inappropriate comments to intimidate me, which prevented me from enforcing professional and personal boundaries. It also prevented me from fully disclosing how much it bothered me that I felt continually and increasingly undermined, and under-supported in regards to the behavior management issues. I did discuss it, though.
If my husband and his workplace were not a part of this equation, I would have felt fully confident and justified approaching my master teacher, defining my boundaries with respect and professionalism, and asking for courtesy and respect. This school is where he works, and he LOVES his job. He is paying all the bills while I finish earning my credential, so that I can join him in earning a living and supporting our family. He is a relatively new teacher. My master teacher is not. I was afraid that if I approached the Master Teacher, gossip would increase, and become more malicious, further placing both my husband and I in a very awkward situation. I felt like I had to be present for every Nutrition and Lunch period in order to avoid giving any further opportunity for gossip and inappropriate suggestions.
My husband and I both discussed working at the same site when it was proposed to me upon passing the portfolio review (December 1st, 2006). My friend Lindsay was with us having a celebratory lunch at the Nugget on the campus. We agreed that we could carpool in together if there were no conflicting schedules. We agreed to a professional demeanor; no affection on or near campus, spoken nor physical. We didn't even say "I love you" - we stuck with our code word. I replied on the phone only once "I love you too" to a call made during lunch. Now, with one flippant remark, my conduct (and my husbands' conduct) is being called into question.
There are about four or five other teacher couples at the site. They are married, and work at the same school. They get gossip, too - but they can stop it in its' tracks. They are not guests at the school. They have their credentials in hand. They don't have a master teacher listening in the hall as you try to address your challenges with your support system and colleagues. I felt like that support system was taken away from me.
I'm not judging my master teachers' methods. If something works for her, then it works. I tried to the best of my ability (while very emotional) to explain to my supervisors the system that had been put into place was working against me. I tried to explain where my difficulties are, and ask for help in order to address those concerns with my master teacher. A particular situation was increasingly getting out of control. I needed help. I felt I would not be supported by my master teacher. I took a step back and asked for help from the university.
My master teacher (now former master teacher) blames me for misinterpreting what she said and did. Maybe it was a joke - but how would I know that? Even if the comments were made in jest, it was at my expense. It called into question my integrity. It created mistrust. It was inappropriate. I did nothing to deserve that. It was unfair to create that kind of a challenge to address and that kind of environment to work in.
For now, I am continuing my paperwork. I have a great start on my portfolio, and I am proud of the successes I had, and with my students' successes. My husband is proud of me.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
selling in class
Just as a post-script:
Friday after I got home, I telephoned my supervisors and alerted them to the situation, including the children with drugs in class. I also called the school's campus detective. Since he was not at his telephone, I left a message with my home number, and also my husband's classroom number if he has further questions.
I did this not only because it was what I am supposed to do, but out of protection for myself and for both schools involved.
Friday after I got home, I telephoned my supervisors and alerted them to the situation, including the children with drugs in class. I also called the school's campus detective. Since he was not at his telephone, I left a message with my home number, and also my husband's classroom number if he has further questions.
I did this not only because it was what I am supposed to do, but out of protection for myself and for both schools involved.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
not enough
A good night's sleep was not enough to help out and assist my return on Friday. I cried for most of Thursday evening, and I thought it was out of my system. That wasn't the first time I cried this week. I don't think it was the second, either. As the blocks passed by and we got closer to the school, the tears returned. I tried, but I couldn't shut them off. I was so disappointed in myself because I could not stop crying.
I could not stand in front of those kids and give them a lesson while in this state. So I handed my plans and worksheets to my husband, and asked him to hand them on to the MT. I went home when I could, and called in for support.
For professional reasons, I'm choosing not to publish the details of this situation. I'm adding supplemental logs (written in confidence, and password-protected) to this field log. I'm doing what I can to work out the situation, and make the appropriate changes. I have been advised to take further steps, but for now I am going to wait and see how this new dialogue works out.
I just want to do my job to the best of my ability. There are some changes that need to be addressed in order for me to do that.
... At the 2nd week, I lost my voice. I still taught, but it was extra-challenging. In another way, and about at the first or second week, I lost my voice. By yesterday - Friday, and in both cases, I got my voice back.
We'll see how it goes.
I could not stand in front of those kids and give them a lesson while in this state. So I handed my plans and worksheets to my husband, and asked him to hand them on to the MT. I went home when I could, and called in for support.
For professional reasons, I'm choosing not to publish the details of this situation. I'm adding supplemental logs (written in confidence, and password-protected) to this field log. I'm doing what I can to work out the situation, and make the appropriate changes. I have been advised to take further steps, but for now I am going to wait and see how this new dialogue works out.
I just want to do my job to the best of my ability. There are some changes that need to be addressed in order for me to do that.
... At the 2nd week, I lost my voice. I still taught, but it was extra-challenging. In another way, and about at the first or second week, I lost my voice. By yesterday - Friday, and in both cases, I got my voice back.
We'll see how it goes.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
this job sucks
Sometimes, like today, the bad days are really bad. Sometimes, the bad schools really earn their reputation. I can still hear Bob's words from the other day - "Don't let those crazies over there get to ya." Why does it always happen after someone says something like that?
Later in the day, I hear from a student that people in my class are selling weed - IN CLASS. I suspected one (or more) of them were holding yesterday. I also felt that MT would not do anything about it. Apparently, students found out that the rules don't get enforced when you smoke a blunt outside the classroom - graduating seniors especially. So now, as I'm teaching a lesson, I hear some of the students remark that they can 'smell that shit from here' - across the table. I take a look over, (still lecturing) and they all freeze up. Someone was holding. They had to be.
My intent was to hold the table after class and ask them to empty their backpacks out on the table. They all slipped out as the bell rang. I was distracted by another handful of attention demanding students. They're all attention demanding students.
(paragraph deleted)
It took most of the afternoon, and constantly thinking of the 10 to 15 % of my students who actually try and care about their education, to not say "I'm done, I'm not coming back, I don't have to do this, other schools in better places are asking me to work for them," It is still taking a lot of restraint to not say it.
That 10 percent keeps me going - even when they mess with me. They're excellent kids. They have heart, and brains, and drive. They're creative, and brilliant - even though some of their GPA's don't show it. They have difficulties expressing themselves or more difficulty in recognizing when to stop expressing themselves - which gets them into trouble with other teachers. They're not the schools' top 10% - but they're MY top 10%.
I hope they're going to be enough to hold on to. I'm tired, and weary, and angry, and frustrated, ...and sad. I'm so, so sad. I'm very disappointed by many things. I'm SO weary of hearing complaints all day long - about the most asinine things. The time is flying by each day - but I'm still counting down the weeks until it's over. To top it off: I'm missing out on precious time with my son AND I'm deeper in to debt for this thrilling little experience.
I keep asking myself "why do I care?" "Why should I care?"
I keep reminding myself that these high-schoolers are just toddlers in adult-sized bodies. Toddlers can be such a-holes sometimes. Then they turn around and do something so cute, or loving, or smart, ... it almost makes you forget about the tantrums. Almost. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Preparing for the worst - hoping for the best, mostly hoping for a good night's sleep.
Later in the day, I hear from a student that people in my class are selling weed - IN CLASS. I suspected one (or more) of them were holding yesterday. I also felt that MT would not do anything about it. Apparently, students found out that the rules don't get enforced when you smoke a blunt outside the classroom - graduating seniors especially. So now, as I'm teaching a lesson, I hear some of the students remark that they can 'smell that shit from here' - across the table. I take a look over, (still lecturing) and they all freeze up. Someone was holding. They had to be.
My intent was to hold the table after class and ask them to empty their backpacks out on the table. They all slipped out as the bell rang. I was distracted by another handful of attention demanding students. They're all attention demanding students.
(paragraph deleted)
It took most of the afternoon, and constantly thinking of the 10 to 15 % of my students who actually try and care about their education, to not say "I'm done, I'm not coming back, I don't have to do this, other schools in better places are asking me to work for them," It is still taking a lot of restraint to not say it.
That 10 percent keeps me going - even when they mess with me. They're excellent kids. They have heart, and brains, and drive. They're creative, and brilliant - even though some of their GPA's don't show it. They have difficulties expressing themselves or more difficulty in recognizing when to stop expressing themselves - which gets them into trouble with other teachers. They're not the schools' top 10% - but they're MY top 10%.
I hope they're going to be enough to hold on to. I'm tired, and weary, and angry, and frustrated, ...and sad. I'm so, so sad. I'm very disappointed by many things. I'm SO weary of hearing complaints all day long - about the most asinine things. The time is flying by each day - but I'm still counting down the weeks until it's over. To top it off: I'm missing out on precious time with my son AND I'm deeper in to debt for this thrilling little experience.
I keep asking myself "why do I care?" "Why should I care?"
I keep reminding myself that these high-schoolers are just toddlers in adult-sized bodies. Toddlers can be such a-holes sometimes. Then they turn around and do something so cute, or loving, or smart, ... it almost makes you forget about the tantrums. Almost. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Preparing for the worst - hoping for the best, mostly hoping for a good night's sleep.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
climbing the mountain - of paperwork
I'm almost ready to start. I have so much to write, and more to rewrite. I can feel myself procrastinating - taking care of other diversions, (mostly related to the work).
And then I look around at my home, how could I possibly begin paperwork when the dishes need to be washed, and there's vacuuming to do? It can wait. DH can do it.
He's astonished. When he student-taught in English (same University, similar requirements in English as for Art), his supervisor never met weekly on campus. She rarely saw him in the classroom - maybe once while actually teaching. It turns out she's got Alzheimers. He got away with a lot - academic murder we'll call it, even though he wanted the support and help. He thinks it's astonishing that I have to rewrite Master Teacher's Lesson Plans to adhere to our university format, and to the state VAPA standards. What do I think? I'm too busy to let it get to me - much. I don't have time to worry - DH can do that too.
As long as he does his griping about my work away from me, I won't get sucked into the whirlpool of stress. I have had to ask my darling to not tell me how 'bad' I have it. I can deal, I can do it, but I can't soothe my own worries along with his AND get it done. The sweetie is grocery shopping AND doing laundry to give me time to complete my work. Thanks so much for letting me complete my field journal here in this format.
I'll be writing some of my journal as drafts, and probably not publishing them here. There are confidentiality issues to deal with, and my kids are already trying to find my MySpace page.
Typing is still difficult with the nerve/muscle pain in my left hand. Maybe all the typing exercise will alleviate it - or exacerbate it. Ah well. I've got one chance to do it now, and I know a great physical therapist at the University.
It's time to climb Mt. Writemore.
And then I look around at my home, how could I possibly begin paperwork when the dishes need to be washed, and there's vacuuming to do? It can wait. DH can do it.
He's astonished. When he student-taught in English (same University, similar requirements in English as for Art), his supervisor never met weekly on campus. She rarely saw him in the classroom - maybe once while actually teaching. It turns out she's got Alzheimers. He got away with a lot - academic murder we'll call it, even though he wanted the support and help. He thinks it's astonishing that I have to rewrite Master Teacher's Lesson Plans to adhere to our university format, and to the state VAPA standards. What do I think? I'm too busy to let it get to me - much. I don't have time to worry - DH can do that too.
As long as he does his griping about my work away from me, I won't get sucked into the whirlpool of stress. I have had to ask my darling to not tell me how 'bad' I have it. I can deal, I can do it, but I can't soothe my own worries along with his AND get it done. The sweetie is grocery shopping AND doing laundry to give me time to complete my work. Thanks so much for letting me complete my field journal here in this format.
I'll be writing some of my journal as drafts, and probably not publishing them here. There are confidentiality issues to deal with, and my kids are already trying to find my MySpace page.
Typing is still difficult with the nerve/muscle pain in my left hand. Maybe all the typing exercise will alleviate it - or exacerbate it. Ah well. I've got one chance to do it now, and I know a great physical therapist at the University.
It's time to climb Mt. Writemore.
Friday, February 16, 2007
oy vey
I am so overstimulated at this point.
I feel like I am a ride operator at an amusement park - the only ride operator for all the rides. There's so much on my mind, that I really don't know where to begin.
The critiques were difficult. I jumped into a discussion about the art works without setting a model for the students to follow. I assumed they could follow along.
In regards to the new project: I received complaints about the amount of 'paperwork' - meaning 2 articles to read and respond to - that they now have to do.
"Ms. So and So never made us do this" ...I'm not sure, I think that may have embarrassed us both. It sure didn't help morale.
I wasn't expecting some silly response of "oh boy, I sure do love the amount of reading you give us, Ms, B", but it still just kills ya a little inside to have worked on a lesson so hard, and have it met with resistance even in the begining steps.
Later in the day, a light-hearted conversation turned in to a sobering splash in the face - some of my students have been shot at. One students' brother was shot... on two seperate occasions. The brother was not in a gang, or doing anything to provoke a bullet graze to the head, and later a fingernail melting off when a seperate attack landed a round on his finger. This isn't my first experience with guns, gunfire, murder, gang violence, whatever. I'm not some naive PollyAnna who can't see past my own porch. I know that many of my students use drugs, some probably sell them, many are affiliated with gangs, some want to be, some have children older than my own 17-month-old, etc. It's just maddening that these issues are a part of our life. Though they are nearly old enough to vote, the students are still children. Some of these children are making very adult decisions about how they live their lives, without having the cognitive capacity to weigh possible consequences.
"sometimes showing up is half of the battle." No kidding. I've taken for granted the success and amount of luck and effort the students have to make just to get to school sometimes. They don't believe me when I tell them I'm happy to see them at the beginning of the period.
I get teased and corrected for using the word "please".
Oh boy - when did I become such a 'professional' and an 'ADULT'??
Some of my successes:
One of my special needs students (who doesn't speak with anyone) talks with me. He's doing great in the project, even though he may need explicit step-by-step - AND 'only one step at a time' instructions. I can do that. I need to do more of that with the rest of the class anyway.
The student I pulled aside and conferenced with is talking to me about his life, his issues with other instructors, etc. He sent me a Lolly-pop Valentine for Valentine's Day. He's brilliant, but just doesn't have full reign over his emotions yet - sometimes his mouth acts before consulting with his brain. Sometimes, I can relate.
I fixed the sink, and cleaned it to a shine. It has stayed clean all day since then - and not for lack of use, and not because I yelled. I didn't have to.
I repaired a sewing machine so that the Master Teacher could use it in her classes.
I talked about cars, college, and life with a student of my Master Teacher, and she asked me to teach a special technique to another very 'at-risk' student in her class. We seem to have made a connection.
This weekend brings another three-day weekend. Thank all that is good and wherever it comes from for that. It feels like my paperwork mountain has fought back, and has tripled in size. It will not win. I will defeat it.
I'm having a ton of epiphanies, and having all sorts of ideas for my own classroom (should I ever become employed doing this sort of thing). The sparks are flying, but the smell of my own brain on fire is telling me to shut down for tonight, and power up again tomorrow.
I feel like I am a ride operator at an amusement park - the only ride operator for all the rides. There's so much on my mind, that I really don't know where to begin.
The critiques were difficult. I jumped into a discussion about the art works without setting a model for the students to follow. I assumed they could follow along.
In regards to the new project: I received complaints about the amount of 'paperwork' - meaning 2 articles to read and respond to - that they now have to do.
"Ms. So and So never made us do this" ...I'm not sure, I think that may have embarrassed us both. It sure didn't help morale.
I wasn't expecting some silly response of "oh boy, I sure do love the amount of reading you give us, Ms, B", but it still just kills ya a little inside to have worked on a lesson so hard, and have it met with resistance even in the begining steps.
Later in the day, a light-hearted conversation turned in to a sobering splash in the face - some of my students have been shot at. One students' brother was shot... on two seperate occasions. The brother was not in a gang, or doing anything to provoke a bullet graze to the head, and later a fingernail melting off when a seperate attack landed a round on his finger. This isn't my first experience with guns, gunfire, murder, gang violence, whatever. I'm not some naive PollyAnna who can't see past my own porch. I know that many of my students use drugs, some probably sell them, many are affiliated with gangs, some want to be, some have children older than my own 17-month-old, etc. It's just maddening that these issues are a part of our life. Though they are nearly old enough to vote, the students are still children. Some of these children are making very adult decisions about how they live their lives, without having the cognitive capacity to weigh possible consequences.
"sometimes showing up is half of the battle." No kidding. I've taken for granted the success and amount of luck and effort the students have to make just to get to school sometimes. They don't believe me when I tell them I'm happy to see them at the beginning of the period.
I get teased and corrected for using the word "please".
Oh boy - when did I become such a 'professional' and an 'ADULT'??
Some of my successes:
One of my special needs students (who doesn't speak with anyone) talks with me. He's doing great in the project, even though he may need explicit step-by-step - AND 'only one step at a time' instructions. I can do that. I need to do more of that with the rest of the class anyway.
The student I pulled aside and conferenced with is talking to me about his life, his issues with other instructors, etc. He sent me a Lolly-pop Valentine for Valentine's Day. He's brilliant, but just doesn't have full reign over his emotions yet - sometimes his mouth acts before consulting with his brain. Sometimes, I can relate.
I fixed the sink, and cleaned it to a shine. It has stayed clean all day since then - and not for lack of use, and not because I yelled. I didn't have to.
I repaired a sewing machine so that the Master Teacher could use it in her classes.
I talked about cars, college, and life with a student of my Master Teacher, and she asked me to teach a special technique to another very 'at-risk' student in her class. We seem to have made a connection.
This weekend brings another three-day weekend. Thank all that is good and wherever it comes from for that. It feels like my paperwork mountain has fought back, and has tripled in size. It will not win. I will defeat it.
I'm having a ton of epiphanies, and having all sorts of ideas for my own classroom (should I ever become employed doing this sort of thing). The sparks are flying, but the smell of my own brain on fire is telling me to shut down for tonight, and power up again tomorrow.
Transition time
In all three classes, my projects are wrapping up. We are critiquing today in two classes, and waiting for a final glaze-fire in the third.
Mt. Writemore seems completeable, but I do still feel overwhelmed by the paperwork. I prefer to do most of my typing and paperwork, then save and e-mail it in: to myself, to my Master Teacher, to my University Supervisors, etc. The firewall at the school will not allow me to access my e-mail at all. It's been a challenge having a school-based e-mail account assigned to me, too. I am finding that I will have to do most of my typing at home, or at the University's computer lab. I have a little one at home, he loves the computer. This may present another challenge.
I also have my word processing software as free-ware. It is not the standard brand-name software, but is mostly compatible with everyone else's platforms. I have the brand name on an old computer, but it is out-dated and I cannot transfer it to the new computer.
It may come to this: I may have to schlep the Mac Mini with me to the school, and keep an eagle eye on it: even wear it as a necklace, or something. (sigh) I love my students, but things go missing. I can't afford to lose the data I have.
In the meantime, I steal moments on the home computer, and finish up on the blessings of three-day weekends.
Mt. Writemore seems completeable, but I do still feel overwhelmed by the paperwork. I prefer to do most of my typing and paperwork, then save and e-mail it in: to myself, to my Master Teacher, to my University Supervisors, etc. The firewall at the school will not allow me to access my e-mail at all. It's been a challenge having a school-based e-mail account assigned to me, too. I am finding that I will have to do most of my typing at home, or at the University's computer lab. I have a little one at home, he loves the computer. This may present another challenge.
I also have my word processing software as free-ware. It is not the standard brand-name software, but is mostly compatible with everyone else's platforms. I have the brand name on an old computer, but it is out-dated and I cannot transfer it to the new computer.
It may come to this: I may have to schlep the Mac Mini with me to the school, and keep an eagle eye on it: even wear it as a necklace, or something. (sigh) I love my students, but things go missing. I can't afford to lose the data I have.
In the meantime, I steal moments on the home computer, and finish up on the blessings of three-day weekends.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
the language of learning, and the learning of the language
I'm becoming aware of the cultural differences in myself from my students, mostly through the language we use.
For example, there are certain words that I do not have in my vocabulary - or rather that I choose to never use. They are hate-filled words that have been used to subjugate and harm people in all the history of the word. In the micro-culture of the high school I'm teaching at, the "N"-word is thrown about as a greeting. Some students do not place the vile associations with it that most others do.
I have come down hard on them, and forbidden use of that word around me. Some first responses I have received were, "I am one, why can't I use the word?", and "it doesn't mean to us what it meant to you". This opened up a discussion of self-respect and perception. Immediately, I pointed out that, "no, I don't think you are one, and I'm sorry that you don't respect yourself enough to agree." A brief hisotry of the word, its context, and how it has been used to de-humanize people has had a few of my students reconsidering the use of the word. Bad habits are difficult to change. While this week I have spent allowing students to rephrase and choose a different word when I hear profanity - and that word - I also warned them that continued use of ethnic, religious, or racial slurs will mean that they will write me a ten page paper on the history, context, meaning of the word, historically, culturally, and HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE IT - including footnotes and bibliography. It's nipping the issue in the bud.
On the flip side of that coin, idioms have evolved in this microculture, too. For example, I approached a table of my female students who were chatting and wasting studio time - nothing begun for the day yet. I asked them about their projects and told them to "get cracking" - (get to work). In this culture, the 'crack' is slang for the female sexual anatomy, so apparently (and unknowingly) I told my group of young ladies to "get cracking", or start masturbating. My new phrase is now "get to work".
For example, there are certain words that I do not have in my vocabulary - or rather that I choose to never use. They are hate-filled words that have been used to subjugate and harm people in all the history of the word. In the micro-culture of the high school I'm teaching at, the "N"-word is thrown about as a greeting. Some students do not place the vile associations with it that most others do.
I have come down hard on them, and forbidden use of that word around me. Some first responses I have received were, "I am one, why can't I use the word?", and "it doesn't mean to us what it meant to you". This opened up a discussion of self-respect and perception. Immediately, I pointed out that, "no, I don't think you are one, and I'm sorry that you don't respect yourself enough to agree." A brief hisotry of the word, its context, and how it has been used to de-humanize people has had a few of my students reconsidering the use of the word. Bad habits are difficult to change. While this week I have spent allowing students to rephrase and choose a different word when I hear profanity - and that word - I also warned them that continued use of ethnic, religious, or racial slurs will mean that they will write me a ten page paper on the history, context, meaning of the word, historically, culturally, and HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE IT - including footnotes and bibliography. It's nipping the issue in the bud.
On the flip side of that coin, idioms have evolved in this microculture, too. For example, I approached a table of my female students who were chatting and wasting studio time - nothing begun for the day yet. I asked them about their projects and told them to "get cracking" - (get to work). In this culture, the 'crack' is slang for the female sexual anatomy, so apparently (and unknowingly) I told my group of young ladies to "get cracking", or start masturbating. My new phrase is now "get to work".
Friday, February 09, 2007
When to disconnect
My husband teaches at the same school I am student-teaching at. He's two buildings over, and we are learning what it's like to have two people with the same style of career, who work at the same school, and be married teachers - and then turn off the teacher part and just be a family at the end of a day.
We have set our boundaries - actual physical boundaries. On the carpool ride home, we cannot speak about work after we cross a certain street. We also play the "Hi-Lo" game. We take turns naming the highest point of our teaching day and the lowest point - all within the seven blocks until we reach our boundary. Then, the radio plays, and we relax. We pick up our little one from his school, and become FAMILY again.
So far, so good.
Week 2 is done, donuts and all. My legs haven't hurt this much since I waited tables for a living - but it's not as bad as back then. I'm having fun. My students are learning. Next week brings a visit from my University supervisor, introducing a new lessson plan, and hopefully a big dent in Mt Writemore.
but for now, it's time for FAMILY. Cheers all!
We have set our boundaries - actual physical boundaries. On the carpool ride home, we cannot speak about work after we cross a certain street. We also play the "Hi-Lo" game. We take turns naming the highest point of our teaching day and the lowest point - all within the seven blocks until we reach our boundary. Then, the radio plays, and we relax. We pick up our little one from his school, and become FAMILY again.
So far, so good.
Week 2 is done, donuts and all. My legs haven't hurt this much since I waited tables for a living - but it's not as bad as back then. I'm having fun. My students are learning. Next week brings a visit from my University supervisor, introducing a new lessson plan, and hopefully a big dent in Mt Writemore.
but for now, it's time for FAMILY. Cheers all!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
ending week 2
10 dozen donuts have been ordered for pick-up tomorrow on the way in to "work". Yes, I bribed my students. I'm embarrassed by it - but only a little.
I had a problem with tardiness from my students, until I blurted out a deal - without thinking about it. The normal consequence for tardiness is to get sent to SWAT. SWAT is an acronym (for what I don't know) - but it's basically a holding pen for students to go to if they're being disruptive - or tardy. It's a step below on-campus suspension.
My issue with SWAT is that it takes my students out and holds them in another room while I'm teaching their lesson without them. I have to catch them up the next day which is a waste of work time in the studio - and causes further discipline problems. My attention is diverted from those who need help with their work, and keeping the room manageable. SWAT carries no consequence from what I've seen - it's a glorified babysitter for near-adult students.
So, I cut a deal with them. If they all got to class and in their seats by the time the bell rang, I'd bring in donuts next week. They have actually done it so far. I know, I know - the week isn't over yet.... but there's something wrong about making someone prove that they're good enough before giving praise or rewards. They showed progress - and I'm not looking for perfection. I'll surprise them and let them know I'm proud of them (which I am).
I had a major success today in dealing with a 'passionate' student - who has trouble recognizing when he gets too excitable when he's happy, or too mean when he's down. We came up with a system that we are going to try. He knows his boundaries now, and I have a respectful manner of telling him when he's overstepped his boundaries. This was all done in a manner in which I treated him with respect, and talked to him like an adult - which is so IMPORTANT to this particular student. My master teacher was IMPRESSED. We'll see how the plan works out.
Other successes: my students' works are looking great, and it looks like we'll be finishing the 1st projects this week... then introducing my OWN lessons on Tuesday!. The long weekend is a blessing - I need to get my paperwork in order and set up a few small adjustments to the daily routine. Classroom management (as far as cleaning up clay and art supplies) has been challenging - but I'm going to implement some FLYlady routines for them (www.FLYlady.net). Master Teacher is being so generous with me - and allowing me to change the seating arrangement - even moving the tables around - to help switch up the tone in the room.
That's all the more reason to bring donuts - the Art Faculty have been supportive, realistic, and fun to be around. I'm looking forward to just saying "thanks, I appreciate you" to the students and faculty. The students were put in a position of having a new teacher with no prior notice at all. They've been getting to know me, and are trying to figure me out.
So, 45 students in 1st period, 45 students in 2nd period, and about 30-35 in 3rd period will be dining on donuts, thanked, appreciated, and told about some upcoming adjustments. It's a good way to start a three-day weekend... I hope. :-)
I had a problem with tardiness from my students, until I blurted out a deal - without thinking about it. The normal consequence for tardiness is to get sent to SWAT. SWAT is an acronym (for what I don't know) - but it's basically a holding pen for students to go to if they're being disruptive - or tardy. It's a step below on-campus suspension.
My issue with SWAT is that it takes my students out and holds them in another room while I'm teaching their lesson without them. I have to catch them up the next day which is a waste of work time in the studio - and causes further discipline problems. My attention is diverted from those who need help with their work, and keeping the room manageable. SWAT carries no consequence from what I've seen - it's a glorified babysitter for near-adult students.
So, I cut a deal with them. If they all got to class and in their seats by the time the bell rang, I'd bring in donuts next week. They have actually done it so far. I know, I know - the week isn't over yet.... but there's something wrong about making someone prove that they're good enough before giving praise or rewards. They showed progress - and I'm not looking for perfection. I'll surprise them and let them know I'm proud of them (which I am).
I had a major success today in dealing with a 'passionate' student - who has trouble recognizing when he gets too excitable when he's happy, or too mean when he's down. We came up with a system that we are going to try. He knows his boundaries now, and I have a respectful manner of telling him when he's overstepped his boundaries. This was all done in a manner in which I treated him with respect, and talked to him like an adult - which is so IMPORTANT to this particular student. My master teacher was IMPRESSED. We'll see how the plan works out.
Other successes: my students' works are looking great, and it looks like we'll be finishing the 1st projects this week... then introducing my OWN lessons on Tuesday!. The long weekend is a blessing - I need to get my paperwork in order and set up a few small adjustments to the daily routine. Classroom management (as far as cleaning up clay and art supplies) has been challenging - but I'm going to implement some FLYlady routines for them (www.FLYlady.net). Master Teacher is being so generous with me - and allowing me to change the seating arrangement - even moving the tables around - to help switch up the tone in the room.
That's all the more reason to bring donuts - the Art Faculty have been supportive, realistic, and fun to be around. I'm looking forward to just saying "thanks, I appreciate you" to the students and faculty. The students were put in a position of having a new teacher with no prior notice at all. They've been getting to know me, and are trying to figure me out.
So, 45 students in 1st period, 45 students in 2nd period, and about 30-35 in 3rd period will be dining on donuts, thanked, appreciated, and told about some upcoming adjustments. It's a good way to start a three-day weekend... I hope. :-)
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
2nd week, the here and now
After the University meeting tonight for student teachers, I feel overwhemed. It's not the work I have ahead of me in the classroom that is daunting, it's blending it with the paperwork required by the University.
Add to the top of the heap a chest cold - which makes commanding authority and attention a challenge, and the husband's car that did not start (and needs work that will cost more than its value) and a tired family that is settling into a taxing routine.
I have much to complain about - but thankfully my workload prevents me from having the time to do so. Besides, I'm surrounded by people (teenagers) who complain all day long about everything. I don't want to bore others with my own whining.
The blog (and Mt. Writemore - my mountain of paperwork) can wait for tomorrow - we all need a bit of rest right now.
"after all, tomorrow is another day" Sing it Scarlett!
Add to the top of the heap a chest cold - which makes commanding authority and attention a challenge, and the husband's car that did not start (and needs work that will cost more than its value) and a tired family that is settling into a taxing routine.
I have much to complain about - but thankfully my workload prevents me from having the time to do so. Besides, I'm surrounded by people (teenagers) who complain all day long about everything. I don't want to bore others with my own whining.
The blog (and Mt. Writemore - my mountain of paperwork) can wait for tomorrow - we all need a bit of rest right now.
"after all, tomorrow is another day" Sing it Scarlett!
Friday, February 02, 2007
I can swim!
The first week was challenging as a student-teacher, but it was great! I am getting to know which are the students who demand more attention, which ones that may have hyperactivity of some sort, the charmers, the sneaks, and the ones who just want to learn.
I'm learning so much more about my community than I thought I would. Monday brought with it a faculty meeting at which the local gang task force spoke and presented some statistics. My master teacher asked if the presentation scared me - I think it surprised her that it didn't.
My challenges this week have ranged from bringing order to classes that at first viewed me as a substitute teacher, dealing with direct challenges to my 'authority', trying to learn 120 new names and faces, testing out an unfamiliar lesson plan to unfamiliar people, prepping for lessons that are not my own, writing yet another new format of lesson plans, but mostly: trying to keep a straight face when the kids crack me up.
The lessons I presented went well once I got the hang of it, and the students are becoming more involved and engaged each day.
The first week was a success. Yea!
I'm learning so much more about my community than I thought I would. Monday brought with it a faculty meeting at which the local gang task force spoke and presented some statistics. My master teacher asked if the presentation scared me - I think it surprised her that it didn't.
My challenges this week have ranged from bringing order to classes that at first viewed me as a substitute teacher, dealing with direct challenges to my 'authority', trying to learn 120 new names and faces, testing out an unfamiliar lesson plan to unfamiliar people, prepping for lessons that are not my own, writing yet another new format of lesson plans, but mostly: trying to keep a straight face when the kids crack me up.
The lessons I presented went well once I got the hang of it, and the students are becoming more involved and engaged each day.
The first week was a success. Yea!
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