There's only so much one person can do, and there are only so many people in a small town. Subtract the number of people who have a computer, subtract further those who know how to network a computer, and then divide that by the number of people who understand the Mac, and its creative capabilities - in a school with less than 550 students. Then cut the budget by half, because the enrollment is down at the lower grades, so six teachers will be jobless next year.
Tech support needs support. That's a dangerous situation to be in... for the techies, for the teachers, and the students are just not understanding how much they're getting shafted. They're too busy lurking on Myspace - but not in my classroom!
Sometimes, when I see the paycheck and realize that both of us teaching here nets only 600 a month more than just hubby teaching in California... and that 600 and more goes to pay for daycare... ; when the expectations on teachers go beyond what is expected in any other larger school; ... when it takes six weeks to get an hour-long tech job near completion - but not complete; when both cars die in the heat; ...I wonder if it's worth the move. Nevermind the vapid absence of creativity.
I have not yet made up my mind. I just don't have enough information to decide yet.
This is a strange place, indeed.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
personal time
Hubby and I are taking a personal day, and boy do we need it. Time needs to be taken just to be a person. Personal Days. :-)
I have no idea where the day will take us. I'm afraid it will end too soon - but I am elated we're taking a day away from everything that is demanded of us. This is wonderful.
Amidst all the demands, the muse has decided to visit. She is just beyond my reach - like a word on the tip of the tongue. I find myself reaching out for the charcoal and pastels, but held back by the reality of time and demands. This is a fortunate problem. I like to marinade in ideas, and flesh some things out in my head when there are too many ideas flooding forth. I know that once I'm ready, I'll draw, paint, and build as if I were consumed by the drive to do so.
It's a great feeling. I'm beginning to see the spark in others, in my students, and I'm seeing with that sense of wonder and imagination.
Now for a bubble bath, painted toenails, a sketch or two, and time to be a person.
I have no idea where the day will take us. I'm afraid it will end too soon - but I am elated we're taking a day away from everything that is demanded of us. This is wonderful.
Amidst all the demands, the muse has decided to visit. She is just beyond my reach - like a word on the tip of the tongue. I find myself reaching out for the charcoal and pastels, but held back by the reality of time and demands. This is a fortunate problem. I like to marinade in ideas, and flesh some things out in my head when there are too many ideas flooding forth. I know that once I'm ready, I'll draw, paint, and build as if I were consumed by the drive to do so.
It's a great feeling. I'm beginning to see the spark in others, in my students, and I'm seeing with that sense of wonder and imagination.
Now for a bubble bath, painted toenails, a sketch or two, and time to be a person.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
a new direction - east!
I survived and conquered the California Credential dragon, and in the interests of my family's safety and well-being, we have fled the ghetto. My credentials were reciprocated here in Arizona, and we found a nice small town to teach in, and a dinky town right next to it to live in.
We're almost three months immersed in our new environment. Culture shock is an understatement. It's more like I've been stunned. I miss my "'hood rats". I miss all my friends who represent all corners of the globe, and all speak more then one language. Some of the things that I miss really surprised me. I absolutely miss being around people in the paint department at The Home Depot who know what gesso is.
The nearest art supply store is 50 miles away. The next-bigger one is 100 miles.
My VW (with original aircooled engine) has succumbed to the Arid-zona summer, blowing out 2 cylinders. And I left a HUGE VW community. Anyone with a VW understands - yet the air-heads are hard to find out here.
I'm a fish in the desert, without a bicycle - yet.
We're almost three months immersed in our new environment. Culture shock is an understatement. It's more like I've been stunned. I miss my "'hood rats". I miss all my friends who represent all corners of the globe, and all speak more then one language. Some of the things that I miss really surprised me. I absolutely miss being around people in the paint department at The Home Depot who know what gesso is.
The nearest art supply store is 50 miles away. The next-bigger one is 100 miles.
My VW (with original aircooled engine) has succumbed to the Arid-zona summer, blowing out 2 cylinders. And I left a HUGE VW community. Anyone with a VW understands - yet the air-heads are hard to find out here.
I'm a fish in the desert, without a bicycle - yet.
Monday, February 26, 2007
revisiting an older post
While I've put the brakes on publishing reflections on student-teaching, I am still writing them. The brakes had to be slammed down.
I went back and read some of my previous posts - and the Y2K kids came up in conversation with some educators recently. I think this in combination with the 'pedagogy of the impoverished' theory are coming in to play in some situations I have seen. According to whomever explained it to me - academic, yes? - pedagogy of the impoverished is a book that discusses how students in 'impoverished' areas train the teachers, and essentially rob themselves of an education - whether they know it or not.
First of all, I hate the tags impoverished, under-priveleged, etc when discussing education. It implies that people who struggle more economically than others are ill-equipped to think. That is absolutely not true.
Second of all, these students know exactly what's going on. They know when they're being treated differently, though (as with every teenager) they may not have the best success in communicating it.
What I have noticed is that there are students who will do whatever they can to wear down a teacher. (This is my personal observation from my overall experience, not only from my recent assignments). More distractions in class = less time to work/read/discuss ideas = less homework overall (because a teacher will stop assigning it if only 10% turn in their work) = less learning. The teacher decreases expectations, the students follow suit - whether they are aware of it or not.
I have also noticed that in some schools, there is a stigma attached to academic acheivement. It's not that students don't want each other to succeed, it's that the ones who don't shine feel that they are placed in comparison to the students that do. Because you did a good job, and got good attention, I look stupid, and I get bad attention. It's the old "why can't you be more like your sister?" attitude that students feel they get from their teachers. Maybe they do. It's only a matter of time before the sister gets beat up, and learns to keep her mouth shut. Compound the issue with a higher competition for resources (including attention from teachers), a higher population, more challenges to overcome in just getting to school, and soon everyone is trained to expect less. High acheivers have to try extra-hard to end up still under-prepared. It saps a lot of energy - from teachers, staff, and from students.
Now, I'm an outside observer, and still new to the field. I don't claim to have any answer or magic-wand solution. There are some ideas that other countries and areas use that I support. HS Teachers in Japan only teach 4 classes per day. Translated to my immediate environment, teaching only 4 classes could still mean teaching 180 students. I support small-learning communities, and students taking responsibility for their own learning - and for keeping their school well maintained. Why can't the shop-classes do the school building and equipment repairs (in cooperation with facilities management)? That would be a great oppotunity for project and inquiry based learning. I think there should be one tech-support person for every 200 students at each school. Teachers should be well equipped, well-trained, and well-supported to use technology in the classroom.
I also think that local businesses should get bigger tax breaks and incentives for donating time, equipment, and materials to schools. If the school is where we draw our labor force from, businesses should be more involved in the preparation of the future labor force.
However, I'm still new, naive, and idealsitic, and there are no insant solutions. I still believe that if you are clear in your expectations, you are prepared to support student efforts in acheiving them, and the learning content relates to the world, students will rise to the challenge.
As with neighborhoods, schools that have a bad reputation can change the reputation. I have seen it. Whining about it will not bring about the change. It takes work, and optimism, and supporting each other instead of holding each other back.
I went back and read some of my previous posts - and the Y2K kids came up in conversation with some educators recently. I think this in combination with the 'pedagogy of the impoverished' theory are coming in to play in some situations I have seen. According to whomever explained it to me - academic, yes? - pedagogy of the impoverished is a book that discusses how students in 'impoverished' areas train the teachers, and essentially rob themselves of an education - whether they know it or not.
First of all, I hate the tags impoverished, under-priveleged, etc when discussing education. It implies that people who struggle more economically than others are ill-equipped to think. That is absolutely not true.
Second of all, these students know exactly what's going on. They know when they're being treated differently, though (as with every teenager) they may not have the best success in communicating it.
What I have noticed is that there are students who will do whatever they can to wear down a teacher. (This is my personal observation from my overall experience, not only from my recent assignments). More distractions in class = less time to work/read/discuss ideas = less homework overall (because a teacher will stop assigning it if only 10% turn in their work) = less learning. The teacher decreases expectations, the students follow suit - whether they are aware of it or not.
I have also noticed that in some schools, there is a stigma attached to academic acheivement. It's not that students don't want each other to succeed, it's that the ones who don't shine feel that they are placed in comparison to the students that do. Because you did a good job, and got good attention, I look stupid, and I get bad attention. It's the old "why can't you be more like your sister?" attitude that students feel they get from their teachers. Maybe they do. It's only a matter of time before the sister gets beat up, and learns to keep her mouth shut. Compound the issue with a higher competition for resources (including attention from teachers), a higher population, more challenges to overcome in just getting to school, and soon everyone is trained to expect less. High acheivers have to try extra-hard to end up still under-prepared. It saps a lot of energy - from teachers, staff, and from students.
Now, I'm an outside observer, and still new to the field. I don't claim to have any answer or magic-wand solution. There are some ideas that other countries and areas use that I support. HS Teachers in Japan only teach 4 classes per day. Translated to my immediate environment, teaching only 4 classes could still mean teaching 180 students. I support small-learning communities, and students taking responsibility for their own learning - and for keeping their school well maintained. Why can't the shop-classes do the school building and equipment repairs (in cooperation with facilities management)? That would be a great oppotunity for project and inquiry based learning. I think there should be one tech-support person for every 200 students at each school. Teachers should be well equipped, well-trained, and well-supported to use technology in the classroom.
I also think that local businesses should get bigger tax breaks and incentives for donating time, equipment, and materials to schools. If the school is where we draw our labor force from, businesses should be more involved in the preparation of the future labor force.
However, I'm still new, naive, and idealsitic, and there are no insant solutions. I still believe that if you are clear in your expectations, you are prepared to support student efforts in acheiving them, and the learning content relates to the world, students will rise to the challenge.
As with neighborhoods, schools that have a bad reputation can change the reputation. I have seen it. Whining about it will not bring about the change. It takes work, and optimism, and supporting each other instead of holding each other back.
documentation
Monday, Feb 26, 2007; 11:26 a.m.
All morning I have been scanning, and making copies, and printing extra copies of all the work I have done. The process has given me confidence, because I am seeing that I did my job. I knew I did. I have proof. I have photos. Staff and faculty saw me doing my job - even when there was a flippant (and errant) remark made to a student suggesting otherwise. Not to mention, I was video and audio taped nearly every second while doing my job.
I'm not saying that I was perfect. I did make mistakes. They were typical new student-teacher mistakes. I corrected the mistakes, and I learned along the way.
I allowed my master teachers' inappropriate comments to intimidate me, which prevented me from enforcing professional and personal boundaries. It also prevented me from fully disclosing how much it bothered me that I felt continually and increasingly undermined, and under-supported in regards to the behavior management issues. I did discuss it, though.
If my husband and his workplace were not a part of this equation, I would have felt fully confident and justified approaching my master teacher, defining my boundaries with respect and professionalism, and asking for courtesy and respect. This school is where he works, and he LOVES his job. He is paying all the bills while I finish earning my credential, so that I can join him in earning a living and supporting our family. He is a relatively new teacher. My master teacher is not. I was afraid that if I approached the Master Teacher, gossip would increase, and become more malicious, further placing both my husband and I in a very awkward situation. I felt like I had to be present for every Nutrition and Lunch period in order to avoid giving any further opportunity for gossip and inappropriate suggestions.
My husband and I both discussed working at the same site when it was proposed to me upon passing the portfolio review (December 1st, 2006). My friend Lindsay was with us having a celebratory lunch at the Nugget on the campus. We agreed that we could carpool in together if there were no conflicting schedules. We agreed to a professional demeanor; no affection on or near campus, spoken nor physical. We didn't even say "I love you" - we stuck with our code word. I replied on the phone only once "I love you too" to a call made during lunch. Now, with one flippant remark, my conduct (and my husbands' conduct) is being called into question.
There are about four or five other teacher couples at the site. They are married, and work at the same school. They get gossip, too - but they can stop it in its' tracks. They are not guests at the school. They have their credentials in hand. They don't have a master teacher listening in the hall as you try to address your challenges with your support system and colleagues. I felt like that support system was taken away from me.
I'm not judging my master teachers' methods. If something works for her, then it works. I tried to the best of my ability (while very emotional) to explain to my supervisors the system that had been put into place was working against me. I tried to explain where my difficulties are, and ask for help in order to address those concerns with my master teacher. A particular situation was increasingly getting out of control. I needed help. I felt I would not be supported by my master teacher. I took a step back and asked for help from the university.
My master teacher (now former master teacher) blames me for misinterpreting what she said and did. Maybe it was a joke - but how would I know that? Even if the comments were made in jest, it was at my expense. It called into question my integrity. It created mistrust. It was inappropriate. I did nothing to deserve that. It was unfair to create that kind of a challenge to address and that kind of environment to work in.
For now, I am continuing my paperwork. I have a great start on my portfolio, and I am proud of the successes I had, and with my students' successes. My husband is proud of me.
All morning I have been scanning, and making copies, and printing extra copies of all the work I have done. The process has given me confidence, because I am seeing that I did my job. I knew I did. I have proof. I have photos. Staff and faculty saw me doing my job - even when there was a flippant (and errant) remark made to a student suggesting otherwise. Not to mention, I was video and audio taped nearly every second while doing my job.
I'm not saying that I was perfect. I did make mistakes. They were typical new student-teacher mistakes. I corrected the mistakes, and I learned along the way.
I allowed my master teachers' inappropriate comments to intimidate me, which prevented me from enforcing professional and personal boundaries. It also prevented me from fully disclosing how much it bothered me that I felt continually and increasingly undermined, and under-supported in regards to the behavior management issues. I did discuss it, though.
If my husband and his workplace were not a part of this equation, I would have felt fully confident and justified approaching my master teacher, defining my boundaries with respect and professionalism, and asking for courtesy and respect. This school is where he works, and he LOVES his job. He is paying all the bills while I finish earning my credential, so that I can join him in earning a living and supporting our family. He is a relatively new teacher. My master teacher is not. I was afraid that if I approached the Master Teacher, gossip would increase, and become more malicious, further placing both my husband and I in a very awkward situation. I felt like I had to be present for every Nutrition and Lunch period in order to avoid giving any further opportunity for gossip and inappropriate suggestions.
My husband and I both discussed working at the same site when it was proposed to me upon passing the portfolio review (December 1st, 2006). My friend Lindsay was with us having a celebratory lunch at the Nugget on the campus. We agreed that we could carpool in together if there were no conflicting schedules. We agreed to a professional demeanor; no affection on or near campus, spoken nor physical. We didn't even say "I love you" - we stuck with our code word. I replied on the phone only once "I love you too" to a call made during lunch. Now, with one flippant remark, my conduct (and my husbands' conduct) is being called into question.
There are about four or five other teacher couples at the site. They are married, and work at the same school. They get gossip, too - but they can stop it in its' tracks. They are not guests at the school. They have their credentials in hand. They don't have a master teacher listening in the hall as you try to address your challenges with your support system and colleagues. I felt like that support system was taken away from me.
I'm not judging my master teachers' methods. If something works for her, then it works. I tried to the best of my ability (while very emotional) to explain to my supervisors the system that had been put into place was working against me. I tried to explain where my difficulties are, and ask for help in order to address those concerns with my master teacher. A particular situation was increasingly getting out of control. I needed help. I felt I would not be supported by my master teacher. I took a step back and asked for help from the university.
My master teacher (now former master teacher) blames me for misinterpreting what she said and did. Maybe it was a joke - but how would I know that? Even if the comments were made in jest, it was at my expense. It called into question my integrity. It created mistrust. It was inappropriate. I did nothing to deserve that. It was unfair to create that kind of a challenge to address and that kind of environment to work in.
For now, I am continuing my paperwork. I have a great start on my portfolio, and I am proud of the successes I had, and with my students' successes. My husband is proud of me.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
selling in class
Just as a post-script:
Friday after I got home, I telephoned my supervisors and alerted them to the situation, including the children with drugs in class. I also called the school's campus detective. Since he was not at his telephone, I left a message with my home number, and also my husband's classroom number if he has further questions.
I did this not only because it was what I am supposed to do, but out of protection for myself and for both schools involved.
Friday after I got home, I telephoned my supervisors and alerted them to the situation, including the children with drugs in class. I also called the school's campus detective. Since he was not at his telephone, I left a message with my home number, and also my husband's classroom number if he has further questions.
I did this not only because it was what I am supposed to do, but out of protection for myself and for both schools involved.
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